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Berkeley Tree Sitters - UC Berkeley Memorial Oak Grove

Berkeley tree sitters

Enviromentalism is a movement expressing concern for the condition of the earth's enviroment, particularly regarding sustainable resources, alterations in the climate, and humanity's impact on wildlife. Adherents to causes of environmentalism are referred to as "environmentalists."

Environmentalist causesEdit

Because environmentalists care about sustainable resources, they are often seen:

  • advocating the use of single-ply toilet paper in office buildings,
  • imposing suffocating regulations on industry (thus contributing to the weakening of the economy),
  • refusing to flush the toilet, even after several uses,
  • getting up in someone's grill for not turning off the light when they left the room for a few minutes,
  • obstructing the aquisition of natural resources that, if obtained, would reduce a nation's dependency on similar products from conflict zones and improve the economy of their own country.

A failure to comply with their numerous onerous demands typically results in a lecture involving a worst-case scenario of the near future in which there would be no more resources to go around.

Global warming Climate changeEdit

A popular environmentalist cause has been global warming, but as global warming is increasingly being exposed as junk science, environmentalists have shifted to the more nebulous notion of "climate change" to further their agenda of harming industry (which would make it difficult for the rest of us to work, thus leaving us probably as sparcely employed as environmentalists). There is an irony here: science is actually showing that the earth is steadily getting colder, so those who contributed to alarmism over earth's supposedly-increasing temperature are now claiming just the opposite, rather than admitting that they have no idea what they're talking about.

SolutionsEdit

Inform environmentalists that if they procreated, their progeny would use resources, and ask them what plan of action on their part would be most effective.

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