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Lumber Jon

A lumberjack.

A lumberjack is a man who is in the trade of producing lumber, achieved by chopping down trees and, if need be, processing them for easy transportation. Lumberjacks often wear plaid. A very manly profession.

Tools of the tradeEdit

Lumberjack is a manly profession, and it's a job done with some manly tools:

  • Axe - not the body spray. An axe is a tool with a sharp, metal edge (sometimes two) for hacking away at trees or tree branches with the intent to take them down. The axe can also be used to split logs lengthwise.
  • Saw - a saw has a handle and a long, thin, bristled blade that can slice through trees, branches, and logs with a number of back and forth movements. Some saws have two handles, one on opposite sides, for a pair of lumberjacks to take down a tough tree through teamwork.
  • Chainsaw - an electric or gas powered saw whose teeth are on interlocking links that form a chain. When powered on, the chain moves quickly in one direction. Chainsaws are widely considered "sweet".
  • Lunch tin - Generally, lumberjacks don't keep their lunches in lunch boxes or lunch bags. They usually keep their lunches inside something metal. Because lumberjacks spend a lot of time outside, the metal containers that store their lunches would ideally be enough to deter bears and other animals that may be upset that their homes are being ruined.

Fashion choicesEdit

Lumberjacks are considered manlier than the usual man. Because of this, it is expected of them to present themselves in a manner that is fittingly masculine. Lumberjacks are typically seen with the following:

  • Plaid - Lumberjacks wear plaid gratuitously.
  • Suspenders - A lumberjack's pants are seldom in danger of falling down, so suspenders are more of a fashion choice than practical.
  • Beard - Lumberjacks often have beards, with or without moustaches. However, a lumberjack should practice caution, as a beard that is too long may interfere with their work.
  • Boots - Even if you're a manly man, having a log fall on your foot can hurt. Because of this, a lumberjack may benefit from steel-toe boots.

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